right now

i'm three different people

1) the person people want me to be - She's there to help, and cry to. She'll listen to anything you have to say and will always help out. She's always smiling and laughing and you always expect her to say something for you to laugh at and you always expect her to laugh at what you say. If you cry, you expect her to dry your tears each time. You don't ever expect her to have problems herself, as she's there to sort out your problems each times. She knows the answer to every situation you are in. She's never upset and she always looks on the sunny side of a downpour. She isn't scared of anything, and never has fears. She's perfect.

2) the person i actually am - i have a lot more problems then people expect me to have, and i don't have the answers all the time. I get scared about a lot of things and I worry too much. I don't always smile and i don't always want to laugh, that's just the way it is. I have problems too, and i want someone to cry to. I want help just as much as you do. When I'm the person who listens to everyone, you find it hard to listen to me. I never see the sunny side of a downpour, because i can be very pessimistic it's just who i am.

3) the person i want to be - She's a kind, warm-hearted kind of person. She knows how to handle her problems and the situations she gets in. She knows not to panic at everything, and to balance good from bad instead of letting one negative emotion pull her down. She's very optimistic, but understands it's okay to feel down once in a while. She understands that not everyone is going to be there all the time, without questioning why. She doesn't feel alone, and is comfortable with expressing her emotions to people. She will know the answers and she will help those who need her.

That's why, i'm asking people to please leave me whilst i try to become the person i want to be. I want to be a better person, I want to change. what's wrong with changing for the better?
I'm sorry that this blog isn't very cheery. it's just fact.
It's about time I start taking responsibility


Listening to: What Gets You Through the Night - theAUDITION
Name Drop: -

that's the best thing

i've ever thought.

So it's 10:13 right now and i've had no sleep and i'm really sick which could be because of my new hamster (but hopefully not ]:). I can think it's safe to say that i'm not in the best of moods, but you understand right? I'm not exactly angry or upset or anything, funnily enough i don't get like that after no sleep i just carry on as usual.
But anyway, like I was saying it's rather early in the day which isn't the best of my life. And I'm sat here listening to panic at the disco something that i didn't think i'd be doing. I just don't like them so much anymore. But yes, Northern Downpour is on repeat and i literally was just thinking of how i'm hanging out more with people i only ever saw once in a blue moon. Just made me think how much i actually love my friends and I don't reckon i've told them enough times that they mean everything to me. I don't want this blog to be too cliche, just that i love them and they've made me who i am today for the better. No, I may not have the greatest friends in the entire world and they probably wouldn't battle sea monsters for me, they'd probably take pictures and post them on twitter. Yes, they will embarrass me at every opportunity possible. But they are the greatest people i could ask for, and they make my world.

So anyway, this was just a quick blog to say how much i love you guys, each one of you. Every person i have the honour to call friend and privilege to share memories and inside jokes with. Every person to have ever made me laugh, or laughed with me. You are great. Keep on living.

Name Drop: Sweeney the hamster :D
Listening to: Northern Downpour - Panic at the Disco

I'm so fed up

of everybody asking me if i've heard of 3OH!3 or Hollywood Undead. Or if I've heard their new single, Don't Trust Me or Young.

Tbh, Don't Trust Me isn't a new single for me, nor Young. I have been listening to both bands for about 2 years now and it annoys me that people have to ask if i've heard their new song!

I owned the Hollywood Undead album Swan Songs way before it came out in the UK and even then I was waiting for about a year and half to get it. The same goes for 3OH!3 it just hasn't been released over here. I plan to get that too before it's released here.

So to round it up, yes I have heard Don't Trust Me and Young and any other Hollywood Undead or 3OH!3 song you care to throw my way thinking I haven't heard it. Stop asking me you foolish idiots.

It's not that I don't enjoy their success over here in the UK. I remember just last december asking people if they've heard of Hollywood Undead and they all replied with the same answer 'who?'. With HU being one of my favourite bands (losing out to the obvious, Lostprophets) there is nothing greater seeing a small band progress to the point that they can achieve the media's attention over here in the UK. Especially to the point another of my favourite bands, The Blackout, can take them on tour meaning I got the chance to see them live which yes, made my life. The same goes for 3OH!3. I couldn't be happier that they have both achieved success in the UK.

The thing that annoys me is that people love them now because they're becoming a big band, yet they didn't listen to me when I told them to check them out way before the scene. Just because a band isn't big doesn't mean they won't become it one day. Then they suddenly think this band is the greatest in the world. Well where were you when they needed the support? To spread the word about said band?

So now I'm scared to like a band incase they get ruined my teenyboppers over here in the UK. It's happened 3 times now, will it actually ever stop?

Stop asking me you fucking 5-minute fans. I HAVE listened to them. I HAVE been listening to them for a while now. I WILL carry on listening to them.

Name Drop: Charley Merrill

Listening to: Intensity in Ten Cities (Chiodos Cover) - Cameron Kush

I truely think

that Ivy Levan is one of the most gorgeous people to walk this world.
She is so pretty and i wish i could be her at times.
I wish i did my art project on her
(icons and idols)

that may sound kiss-assy or whatever, but it's my thoughts.

went to see Hollywood Undead support The Blackout in Liverpool last night (thurs, 28th of may 09) and holycrap it's everything i thought it would be and more. They were epic, both bands. Yes, I realise there were other support bands and I regret not checking them out but I was only really there for HU and TBO, judge me?
and to the girls that were with us throughout the show (L) you were epic :D

anyway, i'm too tired to do this
hope you're all well
x

Name Drop: Ivy Levan
Listening to: Better Together - Jack Johnson

g'bye shav

Class of 09; Shavington High 04 - 09
i will miss everyone of you.
those i talk to daily, and those i don't talk to at all
we've made it, class of 09.

so, that's it. an era of my life over. 5 years.
i have 7 exams left, and then school is done with and on to college
prom was the best ever and everyone looked so nice.
it was so upsetting leaving everybody and getting hugs
and i truly wish you all the best in college
and i hope you have a great time.

Although throughout high school i've hated going to lessons
and been miserable
i'll miss it all
from shit teachers to shit lessons
college won't be the same.

so onward with life
shavington high school
i will miss you x

As you may know

it's my birthday in 8 days, and I'm so excited :D
nothing unusual about being excited for your own birthday, right?
WRONG. I've never been excited for my own birthday, it's a long dark road that isn't fun for anyone to go down.
As a birthday surprise I've been told to have my train pass coz we're going somewhere new and I don't have a clue where, so should i be scared? hells yeh i should.
Also, for my birthday I went to the Give It A Name festival and holy cow I will never forget that. Nothing in my life will beat that weekend. I just want to say a HUUUUUUUUUUGE thank you to Bek, Charlesp. and Perse, you guys are seriously the best. I loved the whole weekend but one est in particular stood out for me, and that was the blackout. Holy Cow. Also I'm in love with a new band, Emery. Dan Parry, sir, you are a legend. They were aMAZZZZZing.
I'm still yet to believe I've seen Taking Back Sunday and met Adam. Also meeting the king blues, you guys have quickly become one of my favourite bands.
This previous weekend has been one of the best ever.

Talking of the blackout, and going to see them... may 20th :D :D :D supported by HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD. The only way to make that gig better: throw in lostprophets and it's my 3 favourite bands. Which has got me all the more excited for their new album (both the blackout and lostprophets) especially after reading Jamie's blog.

Anyway, i had better go and get covered in different magazines of this world and hope to call it art.
peace.


Listening to: I've Got Better Things to do Tonight Than Die - The Blackout
Name Drop: Adam Lazzara

It's been a while

a long while in fact, and I've missed your face (:
so sorry I've neglected you.

I have many updates, but they can wait for another day. The latest, however, is I've just tested whether washing your hair in milk makes it softer.

For me, it worked alot my hair is really soft right now and I can't really smell any trace of the milk. When I first washed it, it makes your hair feel really sticky and horrid and it is rather cold on your head if you're not showering in a warm shower. I used a bit of shampoo afterwards to take some of the stickiness away. Whilst drying my hair I felt an immediate change of how it normally feels, it felt much softer. After all my hair was dry it was much softer then, well, ever. Washing your hair in a natural form may not be for you, if not I strongly suggest something in the Gliss brand. My hair instantly felt softer after using it once between washing my hair with silver shampoo (for blonds). However, in conclusion I personally suggest you should try it at least once and see it if works out for you if not you could always rinse it out with your normal shampoo and conditioner.

I don't know the in's and out's of it yet, but I'm guessing not to use milk often to wash your hair mainly as it's used for much more efficient things such as in your cuppah. However, I believe it would ruin your hair etc, etc.


I'm gunnah start testing other natural forms for beauty tips. It's always worth a shot. Vinegar is next on the list, I'll get back to you on how that works out.

If you have any more for me just hit me up...
and no beer suggestions, there's one that i am NOT trying.


Listening to - Thatcher f**ked the kids - Frank Turner (192 days ;D x)
Name Drop: Keir Welsh

xo